Fresh Baked

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Ollie's Birthday Hates Him: A Play in 3 Parts, con't., again

Part the third and last: The family birthday dinner (parenthetically heavy).

Ollie had his meal picked out, Mom had been cooking all day; we were all jazzed to get some good eats. The table, our kitchen table was expanded to seat the nine of us (Now we are 9?! Holy crap!) and lovingly set.

Annie and Scooter came over with their new puppy (whose name would be the greatest topic of discussion since we are a family who takes naming things seriously), Eia, Bunny and I returned from race tracks (up!), Ollie and Horker (serious naming going on there) were in attendance, and, of course, the padres were hosting. After a few drinks we went to the table to chow. (FYI: Any of you who have never had my mom's cooking? Sorry 'bout your luck. That shit is goooood.) And it was just after we'd all finished stuffing ourselves that it happened.

Slo-mo: I turn to look at my mom, who is starting to set her arms of the table while talking. BOOM! Out go the table legs and everything just falls toward us. Moment of shock all around and then slo-mo turns into fast forward when everyone kicks into action. Pa and I grab the end of the table to hold it up; Ollie and Scooter find something to wedge under it; everyone else starts taking stuff off the table-- glasses had fallen over; wine, beer, and water was spilled everywhere; cutlery was strewn around; in short, It. Was. AWESOME.

I'm honestly still a little stunned that the table picked that moment to crap out but I'm stoked that I got to be there; that we were all there. Even though it's been put back together and is back in use, that will be funny for a long time.


**As a sidenote... a few years ago I read an ode to a kitchen table that I can no longer remember the title of. I did like it a great deal, however, and if anyone has any idea of what I'm talking about or a source for me to search for it, I'd love to know it. Thanks.