Fresh Baked

Friday, April 29, 2005

Totally Tits

Long awaited. Fully heat pasteurized.

Hallelujah-- Ari Hest
In the Sun-- Joseph Arthur
Verdi Cries-- 10,000 Maniacs
Colors-- Amos Lee
February-- Dar Williams
Promise-- Tracy Chapman
Don't Believe Me-- Picture House
Look What You've Done-- Jet
Home-- Michael Buble
The Weakness in Me-- Joan Armatrading
Top of the World-- Dixie Chicks
Hold On-- Sarah McLachlan
Baby Can I Hold You-- Tracy Chapman
I'm Movin' On-- Rascal Flatts
After All-- Dar Williams
Who Will Sing Me Lullabies-- Kate Rusby
Barbeque--Animal Liberation Orchestra
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1-- The Flaming Lips
Two Way Monologue-- Sondre Lerche
Darling Be Home Soon-- Matt Costa
Genius-- Murmers
Breathe (2am)-- Anna Nalick
Something Crazy-- Franky Perez
You're the Only One-- Ari Hest
Suspended-- Matt Nathanson
First Single-- The Format
You're the Ocean-- Teitur
Caught Up in Your Love-- Ari Hest
Kings in Castles-- Michael Tolcher
Boulevard of Broken Songs-- Party Ben
Someday-- The Afters
I'm Not Okay (I Promise)-- My Chemical Romance

It's totally tits. Comin' atcha as a pair because thats what tits do. And now seriously. Who doesn't want a hit of this mammiforous monster?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

My Day Has Been Made

"Do not apply trapping to your artwork, artwork should be butt-registered."

Butt-registered!

That's it. My professional goal is now to invent something- some aspect of design, simply so I can name it something that will make people giggle. Wish me luck.

ps-- I have no idea what butt-registering means.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Post Title: Juicy

Friday night: Watched Envy

Minutes of my life I will never get back because of that: 100

Saturday Night: Saw Sarah McLachlan

Attended with: Eia and Dem

Last Sarah McLachlan solo tour attended: 1997

Attended with: Eia and Dem

Sarah's Love: Better than ice cream

Percent chance of rain: 60

Rain: Stared at the encore

Jodie Fosters seen at concert: 1

Jodie Fosters brushed against to prove my theory that $100 bills will fall out of her pores and into my pockets: 0 (near miss)

(Other celebs sightings in the past week: 2

Have I figured out who exactly those other two were: Not yet

Does that drive me crazy: Very much so.)

Times giggled at the 'there's no one left to finger' line of Adia: Every time I hear/think of it

Merkins and taints discussed on the 8 mile trek back to the car: With much humor (BALDerdash! Taint Offensive!)

Cars parked in an, oh, say 100 car lot: About 50-frillion

Parking staff: Rookies.

Overall: Excellent evening

Sunday: Homework. For hours and hours and more hours.

Times I've cursed Monday: Every few hours since Friday afternoon.

Friday, April 22, 2005

And I Can Feel it, Too.

Scratch scratch scratch

scratch... scratch...

SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE...

scratch... scratch...

ScratchScratchScratch

SCRAPE!!


My hygienist asked me this morning, "Can you hear that? Can you hear that scratching?"

Hon? You're scraping metal against my teeth. Yes. I can hear it.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Ollie's Birthday Hates Him: A Play in 3 Parts, con't., again

Part the third and last: The family birthday dinner (parenthetically heavy).

Ollie had his meal picked out, Mom had been cooking all day; we were all jazzed to get some good eats. The table, our kitchen table was expanded to seat the nine of us (Now we are 9?! Holy crap!) and lovingly set.

Annie and Scooter came over with their new puppy (whose name would be the greatest topic of discussion since we are a family who takes naming things seriously), Eia, Bunny and I returned from race tracks (up!), Ollie and Horker (serious naming going on there) were in attendance, and, of course, the padres were hosting. After a few drinks we went to the table to chow. (FYI: Any of you who have never had my mom's cooking? Sorry 'bout your luck. That shit is goooood.) And it was just after we'd all finished stuffing ourselves that it happened.

Slo-mo: I turn to look at my mom, who is starting to set her arms of the table while talking. BOOM! Out go the table legs and everything just falls toward us. Moment of shock all around and then slo-mo turns into fast forward when everyone kicks into action. Pa and I grab the end of the table to hold it up; Ollie and Scooter find something to wedge under it; everyone else starts taking stuff off the table-- glasses had fallen over; wine, beer, and water was spilled everywhere; cutlery was strewn around; in short, It. Was. AWESOME.

I'm honestly still a little stunned that the table picked that moment to crap out but I'm stoked that I got to be there; that we were all there. Even though it's been put back together and is back in use, that will be funny for a long time.


**As a sidenote... a few years ago I read an ode to a kitchen table that I can no longer remember the title of. I did like it a great deal, however, and if anyone has any idea of what I'm talking about or a source for me to search for it, I'd love to know it. Thanks.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Ollie's Birthday Hates Him: A Play in 3 Parts, con't.

Part Two: The Short Lived Presents

Ollie requested a new belt for his birthday. Not really clear on his size, though-- I just know that when I hold my arms out, it measures from the base of my right index finger to somewhere beyond my left shoulder. So I went to the store on Friday night, found lots of cute things for myself and a belt for him. Done. I'm a wonderful sister.

Only, when I checked the bag on Saturday? No belt. No belt anywhere, apparently, because no belt was rung up. The hell? So I went to his birthday dinner and gave him his old belt back as a present. Haa. I eventually went back and found a better! belt than the one I'd originally selected, made damn sure that it was paid for and in the bag when I walked out. Ollie digs it. Except for the fact that it doesn't fit. Man, sometimes I suck at gift-giving.

Possibly I suck less at gift-giving than Ollie does at gift getting, however. His girlfriend gave him goldfish for his birthday and after a day with him, they all went belly up, despite his hope that they were all 'just sleeping.' No such luck.

Happy Birthday, Ollie. Have some dead fish and a belt that doesn't fit.

Following: Table talk.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Ollie's Birthday Hates Him: A Play in 3 Parts

Part One: An Accidental Homage to Zoolander (A part that has nothing to do with his birthday, really, but is just too good not re-tell.)

Ollie went to fill up his car on Friday. Following normal, I'm getting gas behavior, he put in his credit card, ZIP code, and tra-la-la... gets the nozzle, flips open the gas cap and BOOM! The hose fell out of the nozzle.

The HOSE fell out of the NOZZLE. And you know there is only one way this will end: Gasoline everywhere. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go blaring from the speakers. Ollie getting drenched. (Me, wishing I were there to witness all this and laugh my ass off...) Haaaaa.

He was eventually able to cut off the gas flow and get someone to call the attendant, but man... when does that ever actually happen to people in real life?

Next up: A table, a belt, and some fishy behavior.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Like a Hurricane

Here's something fun that your piercer can tell you while you're sitting in his chair, surrounded by devices that are intended to add holes to your body, resulting in various amounts of pain: Did you know it only takes 14 pounds of pressure to rip the ear from the human head?



Fortunately, at that time, it was not my ass in that chair but my friend's. I had already had my barbaric piercing done and was joyfully rolling about in my My face is on fire! stupor to actually let that one sink in until a few hours later.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Rockstar


Shades courtesy of H&M, the mess of hair is all my own.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

And Now for Something Completely Different

In the beginning, there was school, and it was good. Then there were finals and they were fucking insane. IN-SANE. It's part of the outreach program Hell has begun to encourage visitors. And in the end? There were 5 As. 5. A. A. A. A. A. Because I? Am a damn rockstar. And that includes an A from the teacher I called a jerk and the one I told was rude and condescending. A. A. A is for Awesome because I am. To the fifth degree. LALALALALAALLAAAAAAAA!!

(There should be a sidebar here about how in the last two weeks of school I slept almost none and am in deep shit at work because of that, but... meh.)

And after I finished up getting my 5 As? I got on a plane to the Columbian District of the country where there is coffee and coke galore. And one of my best friends from college. Yay!! In DC, the Easter was had, the museums were toured, the capitol was Capitoled, the wedding was wed and the Pope died. In that order.

Missing from that line-up was a meeting with Senor Cactus and Mrs. Fish. Who are every bit as rad as I had suspected and didn't say a thing about my friggin' white ass legs or the fact that Eia and I were very late in meeting them. Yay!

Also missing from that line-up in a physical sense was an I'm-a-jerk-last-minute-cancelled meeting with Amalah. Who fell victim to a long-running wedding and whom I hope will still talk to me despite that fact.

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More to come, but I'm afeared if I didn't post something today there would be a lynch mob after me.

Station Identification

I will have a post up today that covers where I've been hiding for the past two weeks, but first:

Coleen d., sweet honey sugar pop that she is, is doing the 3-Day walk for Breast Cancer. The net proceeds will support the combined efforts of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and National Philanthropic Trust (NPT) Breast Cancer Fund in their mission to fund access to care and find a cure for breast cancer. If you would like, you can read about it here, and if you are so inclined, donate here.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Don't Call it A Comeback

I've been here for years.

I just got a little busy is all. And still am a little busy and owe a lot of people emails and comments and posts, oh my! But not right now because I am horribly behind in... oh, lets just call it 'everything' because, let's be honest, it totally is. So... update tomorrow.

I promise.