Fresh Baked

Thursday, August 26, 2004


My brother has decided to infiltrate the English Language. And unlike the defunct 'fetch' of Mean Girls, I think this one might take. His goal is to get squared brought into life and out of the poorly-lit math classrooms where they're just wasting away to... wait, they're actually multiplying, but you understand my point. In this sense-- Oliver's sense-- squared means to agree with someone, or to second their opinion largely. We kicked cubed around for a while, but that was just silly.

I would like to take some of the credit for putting it out as a possible use, since I was present at it's inception, but Oliver is bigger and stronger than I and would pummel me for doing so. Also-- he single-handedly took the squared and ran with it. Most notably, our cousin's funeral 3 months ago-- walking past the family, her newly-widowed husband looks up at him and says, "Shit." Oliver's response? "Squared." Which was good, actually, because it meant, yeah, you're right: shit. And a lot of it. But also? Squared? Just odd enough to lightened the moment a bit.

But do you know who else uses it? Howard Stern. I received the most enthusiastic message from Oliver on Tuesday because big How used the squared in his show: Dude! My plan! It's woooorking! Howard Stern used squared! Driving by your office now-- turn right and say Hi! Seacrest, Out.

Okay, so that last bit needs some dying (he started using it as a joke and it stuck). But the squared? It's just getting started. Use it, know it, love it-- but remember, you heard it here first.