Fresh Baked

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Volleyball for dummies. AKA? Me.

First step: Join a volleyball team, even though you haven't ever really played and haven't participated in team sports since college.

Second step: Make sure you get so involved in the game that you totally disregard your own personal well-being. Dive, dive, dive.


Third step: Invest in kneepads, jackass.

Fourth step: Be sure you scratch yourself at some point so you can bleed during practice. This is a good way to intimidate the other team. No, it doesn't make you look like you should be wearing a helmet.

Fifth step: Wake up the next morning not feeling your legs. They're still there, but you're so sore, your body has shut down all feeling below the waist. Expend enormous amounts of energy convincing the feeling to come back.

Sixth step: Come up with a catchy team name like "Team Congeniality" since that will be the pity award you will receive. Make t-shirts celebrating this.

Seventh step: Get eliminated in the first game (although it has yet to happen).