Fresh Baked

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Making Absolutely No Sense. None.

Right. So. Okay, so... nobody knows who Riki Rachtman is? MTV? Headbanger's Ball? No? Right... well, forget I said anything then.

My 4th was good and mellow, thanks for asking. Pa and I did a 5K in the morning (and saw Riki Rachtman-- still? nobody? where's the love?) and it was rather uneventful, really. Except that my shoes decided to hate me about a mile into the race and I have God's Biggest Blisters to prove it. Ha! I said 'race' like I was running it and I, well... I wasn't.

Also, hey-- You know what makes a 3-day weekend even more fun? Injury! But, before I get there: I'm moving. MOVING! About a mile away from where I live now... at home, with parents I love, but don't really want to live with anymore. So... Moving! But not before a lot of work gets done to the new house.

Like taking down the wood paneling.



And fugly gold-veined mirrors.



And an ENTIRE corkboard wall.



But mostly, I want the cat stink gone. (Confession: I used to be one of those people who said that they were allergic to cats when really? I just don't like them (sorry, cat lovers). Turns out, Karma is a bitch named Dander.) The previous owners had 2 cats and, I guess, lacked the wherewithal to remove any and all evidence of their existence before I set foot in the place. Rude! This makes me all sniffy and watery-eyed which makes using a drill a bit more difficult. But, as it turned out, not as difficult as wielding a hammer.

And for that story:

Ma and I went over yesterday to rid the place of its paneling. Here is where I tell you that my mom is Super! Wonderful! Amazing! All of these things are true, plus-- she can take down paneling like nobody you have ever seen. Believe me when I tell you that she will make all of your moms cry should it come to a take-down face-off. And you're a bad kid if you want your mom to cry. My job, after the paneling was down, was to remove all the residual nails. Even the high ones. Even the ones that are high and really comfortable with their place in the universe and are rather adverse to the idea of leaving it. Even those. It was in taking out one such nail when I learned that Karma has a cousin named Gravity. And Gravity is an even bigger bitch than Dander when it comes to payback. I had been working at this nail for some time when, finally, it just gave. And the hammer I had been pushing on flung back in the direction of my head and when the time was right, Gravity yelled "NNNOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!" and let the hammer fall. On my head. In the ouchy Parietal bone that I totally had to look up because if it has a name you'll feel sorry for me. I saw stars, I dismounted from the ladder a little less than gracefully. I saw more stars. I felt pain. And then, well, those nails weren't going to take themselves out, so I got back up and finished the job.

Remember the tug-of-war scene in Revenge of the Nerds when the geeky Tri-Lams just dropped the rope and the hunky Alpha Betas just fell down? (I bet Riki Rachtman does.) I mention it because it was just about as graceful as this post. And to point out that Gravity didn't like the Alpha Betas, either.