Fresh Baked

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

These are the salad days, and for that, I bitch.

These things have nothing to do with anything, and so... I post them together:

-I am scared of sharks. So frightened, in fact, that while I was in the Junior Lifeguard program (a program I pleaded to be excused from) I had a panic attack while doing one of the required swims and had to be hauled out of the water and into first aid. And yet? I watched 3 Jaws movies this weekend. Okay, so I watched the first one twice, but that's a technicality... why am I doing this to myself? I can't even watch it normally-- I have to tuck my feet under me to make sure they won't be bitten off at the ankle. The blue carpet isn't helping, either.

-My dad makes my lunch on an almost-daily basis. It started out when he was making a salad for himself and then for himself and my mom, and now I'm in on the greens. These salads are works of art-- they are beautiful collections of lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, almonds, tomatoes, carrots, red cabbage, walnuts, dried cranberries, and flax seed (to help maintain a lovely coat). The lineup may change from time to time and some stuff is added or taken away, but this fact remains: its a lot of stuff to be chopping up at 5am for, not only himself, but 2-3 others as well. You guys remember Job? Meet his progeny. Okay, so its not that extreme. Anyway, the point that I am so slowly getting to is that I was really looking forward to my salad this afternoon and the heartache that I'm suffering is that I will NOT be able to enjoy it. I'm still confused as to what happened here, but all I know is that one minute it was sitting there, beckoning to me, the Ranch dressing wafting up into my nostrils and sweetly calling my name and in the next minute, the fucker took a fall. And it fell good. It fell EVERYWHERE. It fell everywhere but in my mouth, which is where it needs to be right now because I'm hungry and I really wanted it and 1, 2, 3... lets have a pity party for me because I'm such a grump!

-My sister (seen below and, there, called Molly) had her birthday under stressful circumstances this year. Not only had she returned from her travels the day before, but she had only so much time to settle down and be home, unpack, and then repack for the next 4 months before she left to run a B&B (which she has never seen) in Canada (where she has never been). Add to this a funeral and the accompanying sadness. It was not a very happy birthday for her. With all this going on, we decided that she was channeling Sam Baker in Sixteen Candles with all the forgetting of her day because of a larger event. I feel badly for her, of course. I'm the sympathetic friend... or the Joan Cusack character, because c'mon, its Joan Cusack and she's rad. That said, if anyone out there has seen Jake Ryan, please have him contact me immediately-- he has a cake to bake and some undies to find.