Fresh Baked

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Thank You: Love Notes From a Morning Person.

I would like to thank the following for my expedient arrival to work this morning:

- My three (three!) alarm clocks for going off this morning at their appointed time and still not managing to wake me. Your asses are fired.

- Whoever messed with the Ranch dressing lid to cause it to gush out All. Over. Everything I was packing for lunch.

- Chuck Taylor. Chuck, I love ya-- you've kept my feet happy in countless situations but this morning, you were not my friend. I ran out of the house, socks and shoes in hand, knowing that by the time I hit the freeway my feet would be shod and I'd be ready to roll. But no. The tongue of my left shoe would not, for any amount of prodding, lay in a flat, comfortable, shoe-lace-tying position.

- The slow ass motherfucker in the Camry in front of me who REFUSED to get closer than 17 yards to the car in front of him and then for speeding up when I tried to pass him.

- Caltrans, for their super-nifty work on the 405/Harbor on-ramp which now has become a merging HELL for those of us trying to get to the 73.

- And lastly, I would like to give sincere thanks to my next door neighbor, aka: the reason I didn't fall asleep last night. She was in her backyard urging their dog to go PeePee! go PeePee!! go PeePee! go PeePee!! for what felt like hours. And to her husband, for arguing with her about the bathroom behavior of this dog loud enough for me to hear every goddamn word.

Thank you all, I hope we can repeat this experience never.